Sometimes I wonder how we got here
by nofeartina
Summary: Bella and Edward are close friends in college. But a night of fun might finally lead to something else... M for lemons. E/B. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello peeps. So it's time for another little short story-like ficlet from me. It's going to be short and sweet with chapters of about 2000 words (some shorter, some longer). It's going to update every Friday (yes, you read it right, I'm actually promising an update schedule!).**

**Just to warn you (if you need it) this is basically PWMP (porn with minor plot) so if you don't like, don't read. To the rest of you; I hope you enjoy! :)**

**As always SM owns everything, blah blah...**

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><p>Edward: <em>Shit, shit, shit. Is that Bella Swan? <em>

BPOV:

We had been thrown together by coincidence. We were both from Forks but despite the size of the town we had never been friends. Hell, we didn't even hang out with the same people. Obviously I knew of him, I mean who didn't. He was the golden boy of Forks High; his family was rich, he had good grades, he played football and dated cheerleaders. Yeah, one of those guys who was really good at high school. I on the other hand sucked at high school. I had friends sure, but was more on the geeky side. No cool clubs or sports for me. But my hard work landed me a scholarship at an Ivy League college. So imagine my surprise on the first day of classes when I saw him sitting there in the lecture hall. All bright eyes and ready to begin. The look on his face when he saw me made my mouth go dry. He seemed so happy to see me and he readily offered me a place next to him. I sat down in the offered seat in stunned silence.

By some freakish chance it seemed that Edward and I were the only people from Forks at this college. And to top that we were taking some of the same classes. The odds of that happening – yeah, don't even try to calculate it. Somehow he took a liking to me so we started hanging out. And soon became good friends.

I honestly didn't mind the friendzone I was put in. It actually suited me just fine. I was no near confident enough to end up one of his conquests. And the more I got to know him I learned that he was actually a genuine good guy. A fact that was well-hidden behind his good looks and casual approach to women and money. Sure, sometimes even I was dazzled by his how gorgeous he was. Without even trying he was a wet dream come true. But in my mind he was deeply rooted in the friendzone.

Somehow he seemed out of my league. Not that I wasn't good looking. When I put an effort into it I could be alluring and I normally had no troubles getting the guy I wanted. I did my fair share of dating and fooling around. One of the reasons I chose this college was to get far away from the Bella I had been. I desperately wanted to be reinvented. I decided to hold off on boyfriend-thing. I had had a couple at Forks High but I just really wanted the full college experience, with all that that entailed. But Edward took the college experience to a whole new level. In my opinion he was as close to being a slut a guy could be. He had a knack for picking up girls and he certainly took advantage of that fact. When I thought why he had landed so easily in the friendzone I somehow knew it came down to that and the money. My family had never had much money so I was uncomfortable around money blatantly flaunted in my face.

The day it all started was a sunny day in march on our second semester of college. I was lounging on his sofa with a beer in front of me and a joint passing between us. He lived in a flat off campus (ah, the perks of rich parents) where I lived in student housing with four(!) fucking roommates so needless to say I would spend as much time as possible at his place.

I was comfortable stoned and could feel a slight buzz from the beer. And maybe it was that combo that made me say the words that started this mess.

"You know, I wish I was better at the sex-thing…" Even though I had said the words I was just high enough not to give a fuck. So no blushing and no nerves. Which, was kinda nice for a change. Even though I continued to look at the joint I could feel Edward's eyes on me.

"Did you just admit to being bad in the sack, Bella..?" He said with that smirk in place. You know, the one that could melt your panties right off of you and make your ovaries explode.

I rolled my eyes at him. "No you dork. I didn't say that. You know, I'm not half-bad if I say so." I shot him a pointed glare that made his smirk turn into a full grin. "I just mean that I wish I was more knowledgeable. That I knew more about what turns me on. What turns a guy on…" I took a big hit of the joint and used the smoke as a way to stop myself from continuing. Why did drugs always made me word-vomit?

Edward raised his right eyebrow and gestured to get the joint. As I passed it to him he said "Okay. So ask me, you know I'm kind of a sex-guru…" He smiled with his eyes and before he took a hit of the joint he said "What do you want to know?".

I exhaled the smoke I had kept in my lungs and without thinking too much I asked him "Okay. So what is it with fingering? Do girls really enjoy it or is it something guys _think_ girls enjoy?"

He stopped exhaling the smoke and stared at me for a while. "Are you kidding me, Bella? How can that be your first question?" The way he looked at me made me want to squirm.

"What? I've just been wondering. I mean the guys seem to like to do it and I let them. But it just doesn't do anything for me. But when I hear other girls talk about it they're always gushing. So I'm curious. Is it me or are they lying?"

He leaned back in the chair and smiled. "Have you ever wondered if it's the guys you were with? Maybe they didn't know what they were doing. I've certainly never had any complaints…" The last sentence was said in a different voice. Low and seductive. And it went straight to my pussy. I cursed myself for being high while having this conversation.

I tried not to roll my eyes too much at him. I was afraid that if I kept up the eyerolling at this level they would get stuck up there. Yeah, not attractive. So instead I said "They can't all not know what they are doing…"

He smiled. "Bella. I don't know how many guys you've been with. But guys our age? Most still don't know what they are doing…"

I huffed and couldn't help but pout. "Yeah well. I'm still not sure I believe all the hype about it." After this the room was quiet for a while. Not awkwardly though. He passed the joint back to me and as I took another hit I had what seemed to be a fantastic idea at the time. "If you are such a guru, why don't you show me then?" I said and smiled at him.

He leaned forward in the chair and put his arms on his legs. "Bella. Do you really think that is such a good idea?" He didn't really look too put off so I just nod eagerly.

"Come on Edward, we're both reasonably attractive people. Why shouldn't we? And it's not like I'm asking you to fuck me, just show me that fingering can make me feel good." I was smiling now. I couldn't believe how good this idea was.

He did the raised-right-eyebrow-thing again and smirked at me. It made me squirm in my seat. "I don't know Bella. I don't want thing to get awkward between us."

Okay, I didn't even try to stop the eyerolling that time. "Jesus Edward. I'm not asking you to marry me." I got up from the sofa and stalked towards him. I put my hands on the armrests of his chair, trapping him in my arms. My face was mere inches away from his and I was looking him in his eyes as I said "I'm asking you to make me cum Edward." And then I licked my lips suggestively.

I could see it working. He swallowed audibly and mirrored the lip-licking. It made my mouth water. I could taste his breath as it washed over my face. I took thrill in realizing that he was breathing faster. Yeah, I knew how to use what I had to get what I wanted. I could see the wheels begin to turn in his head so before he could overthink it I went for the kill. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. Hungrily and seductively. I buried my fingers in his hair and straddled him. I ground myself shamelessly against his lap where I could feel his dick starting to fill out. I could still feel him hesitating though. His hands were hovering over me like he still wasn't convinced this was a great idea. I decided not to give a fuck. I had come this far now so I might as well play it out. So I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and took advantage of the surprised gasp that followed to push my tongue into his mouth. That did the trick. He surrendered to me and as he tried to take control of the kiss with his tongue, strong hands was on my waist pushing me into his now full erection.

I was fully taking advantage of the position, grinding myself shamelessly against him, enjoying the feel of his boner against my pussy. I was horny and so wet and decided to worry later about the kissing-my-friend-thing. I let go of his mouth and began to suck on his jaw instead. "Fuck Bella. You have to slow down if you want me to do you." Edward was deliciously out of breath and I could hear the tremor in his voice as well as his smile. The fact that I affected him so turned me on even more.

"So get to it. Do me…" I said and captured his lips with mine again. My hands were wandering now, sliding along his neck, down his shoulders to his biceps. God they felt good to touch. I tried not to whimper as his hand cupped my sex and he did some kind of swirling movements with the palm of his hand that almost had me coming at the spot.

"Shit. The sounds you make Bella… And my fingers aren't even in your pussy yet…" He said while biting my earlope gently. Everything he was doing to me was too gentle. But before I could tell him to rough it up he was opening my jeans and his hand was right where I wanted it to be. He worked my clit a bit and the feeling of his fingers were so good I almost collapsed against his shoulders. I thanked god it was the boyfriend jeans I put on this morning and not my skintight jeans. There was plenty of room for his hand to work me even if I was straddling him. He captured my lips again and then plunged two fingers into me. I wished I could say that that made me see stars but instead it just seemed to sober me up. He could sense the change in me and stilled his fingers.

"Did I hurt you?" was what he asked me. Shit. I was so tired of being asked that. I shook my head and fought the urge to cry. If Edward, who was so convinced he could get me off, wasn't able to do it, maybe it was me who was defective somehow.

"Bella, don't overthink it. Please, I can see your brain working too fast in there. Just feel." He said and held my gaze as he began to work his fingers in me. His eyes on me felt erotic. Being looked at that way was sensual and new, nobody had ever looked me in the eyes while getting me off. Normally they were too busy looking at my tits. But we were both fully clothed. Only my jeans were opened. He hadn't even touched my boobs. I was trying to go with it and let my mind go. But I struggled. That was until he curved his fingers just so and I felt a wave of heat rush through me and a feeling so intense I had to fight to keep my eyes open.

"Yeah, there it is…" he said and smiled that half-smile. He continued to work me with his fingers and I could feel myself climbing towards the orgasm. The coiling kept tightening and tightening until it almost became unbearable. And then I came. Hard. Grinding against his fingers. Collapsing against his shoulder. Nails buried in his biceps in a tight grip. A low keening noise escaping me. I had never come like that before.

Still out of breath I found myself chuckling over the intensity of the release. I sat back on his thighs and smiled at him. The expression on his face was precious. "Holy shit. You've made a believer out of me." I said and pushed some hair stuck to my sweaty forehead away. "And you can take your hand out of my pants now…"

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><p><strong>AN: Aaaaaaand end scene. So Bella gets her first taste of Edward's finger-magic… I am not jealous AT ALL! So… Reviews are better than Edward's finger-magic (yeah, not really…).**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know I promised to update on fridays and I swear I had the chapter all ready to go, but due to massive FF-fail I couldn't upload. So thank FF for the delay... **

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>Edward: <em>Now I just have to find out how I can get to do that to her again. <em>

BPOV:

The following days passed uneventful. We still hung out and had thankfully avoided being too awkward about what had happened. I had saved it in my wank-bank and could get off to the memory of it in no time by myself. I suddenly understood why Edward was held in such high regards among the girls at the college even if he was an ass and only wanted to have sex with them. But I was determined not to land myself in that category of "been there - done that". So I continued to show up at his apartment and we soon found our groove again.

Until one afternoon I was studying, or should I say struggling, I really hated that subject. But I had to persevere as good grades were the only way to keep my scholarship. Which was actually one of the reasons why I was at Edward's as he struggled less (as in not at all) with this subject and had offered to help me out. I was reading when I felt his eyes on me. I looked up from my book to see him appraising me. "Seriously? Stop Edward. I'm studying." I consciously made an effort to ignore him and go back to reading.

"Bella…?" He said, drawing out my name and making sure he got my attention.

Annoyed I turned a page to show him I was otherwise occupied. "What Edward?"

"You look nice today…" He said it in that voice, all sex, male, low and seductive. And I couldn't help but giggle.

I put the book down and tried to sound exasperated. "What is it you want me to do?" This was the voice he normally used to talk me into doing something I probably wouldn't want to do.

"I was just wondering… About the other day." He shot me a look that made me know exactly which day he was talking about. "I said I would help you if you had any questions."

"Yeah…" I said and shrugged. Not that I had any intentions of asking any more. Well, at least not while being sober…

"Do you have any more questions for me?" I stared at him. Couldn't help it. I didn't speak for a while and the silence made him squirm in his seat. Which I kinda liked. I had never really seen Edward anxious before.

But then it occurred to me why he was asking. "Dude. Are you horny? Is that what this is about?" I was chuckling and trying hard not to outright laugh at him.

He nodded and at least had the decency to look forlorn about it. I on the other hand was enjoying this. I had the upper hand and I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. "Why are you asking me? Why not just go out and get some hussy to get you off?"

He shrugged and tried to act casual about it. "I was just thinking it's easier with you. I have too much studying to do to actually go out."

I huffed. "Way to make a girl feel special, douche…" I sat back in my chair and squinted my eyes at him. "So what question do you want me to ask you?" I asked knowing he already had something in mind.

"Do you want to learn to give the perfect blowjob?" He looked at me with wide bright eyes, hopeful and so fucking eager that I just couldn't bring myself to say no. And hearing the words blowjob coming out of Edward's mouth suddenly made me a bit horny as well. Not to mention the idea of actually getting acquainted with his dick. Which I just knew was going to be spectacular.

"Sure." I said and put the book away. He sat back and looked a little surprised about me giving in so easily. "Where do you want me? Do you want me on my knees and you standing? Or do you want to sit down?" His dumbstruck reaction to my words made me smile. "Come on, Edward. You are supposed to be the guru and teach me "the perfect blowjob". So you have to tell me what to do…"

This seemed to get him moving. He stood up and gestured for me to come to him. "On your knees in front of me. Bring the pillow for your knees." I did what he asked. Before I knew it my face was very close to the prominent bulge in his pants. I looked up at him and could see he was already a bit flushed. "If I knew you would be that easy to persuade I would have asked you sooner." He said with a glimmer of humor in his eyes. I smiled up at him and instead of waiting for further instructions I started to open his pants. I pushed them down his legs and touched him through his briefs which made him hiss.

I teased him by rubbing my cheek against it through the briefs and softly running my lips up the length of his shaft. "Yeah, that's it. Now take off my briefs." I did as he asked and slowly peeled the briefs of until they were around his knees with his pants. He had strong beautiful legs. But they didn't even compare against the sight of his dick. It was just simply perfect. Large and long but not too much so. My mouth watered and I couldn't help but look at him as I slowly licked the head with the tip of my tongue.

"_Jesus_!" He moaned and put his big hands in my hair. Not pulling or directing me but just gently spurring me on. I decided I was tired of teasing so instead I put the extra mouth water to good use and almost swallowed him down completely in one quick go. I didn't stop until my nose was touching his pubes.

"Shit, shit, shit! Bella…!" he exclaimed and I could feel his legs shaking with the effort to not pump into my mouth. I wouldn't mind if he did but he didn't know that. See the thing is, I'm not really bad at blowjobs. Actually they are among my favorite things to do. I like giving the pleasure. And I have perfected my skills so I'm capable of getting even the best to come in a very short time if I so wish. This off course included being able to deep throat.

I swallowed around him and sucked up his shaft the entire way out of my mouth again. I used all my tricks; suckled, licked, sucked and bobbed. He obviously enjoyed it, there were no more demands and suggestions of what I should do from Edward. Instead there were a lot of fucks, shits and moaning sounds.

I reveled in the taste of him. I could feel myself getting wet from the reaction I was getting from him. Which only spurred me on further. I didn't hold anything back. I wanted to show him I was really good at giving head. I put my hands on his cheeks, held on tight and began to really bob on his dick. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked on him and soon I could taste the pre-cum. He was on the verge of coming.

"Shit. Bella, I'm gonna… I'm close." His one hand was still on my head, the other was fisted in my hair. I deep throated him again and hummed which threw him over the ledge. I could feel him spurt down my throat and fought to swallow it all. He continued to move in my mouth and I couldn't contain all of it so some dripped down on to my chin. He let go of my hair and collapsed to his knees in front of me. He was out of breath, gloriously flustered and sweaty. I liked that it was me who had disheveled him to that extent. I sat back on my heels and smiled as I dried the cum off my face with the back of my hand.

He smiled back. "So it didn't seem I had a lot to teach you in that department…" He said and let himself collapse onto the floor on his back. I felt my cheeks heat up looking at him lying on the floor with his pants and briefs around his knees and his dick spend and still glistening with my spit and his come. He looked debauched in the good way. He caught me staring and held out his hand to me. "So let's see if I can't teach you more ways to come from my fingers, shall we…?" His smile was so contagious and even though I knew I probably shouldn't I just really didn't want to say no to him. So I took his hand and lay down on the floor next to him.

Let's just say Edward did teach me a thing or two about coming on his fingers. Some of them I didn't even know were possible. Well. I guess he really was a sex-guru then…

**A/N: Next update on friday! Hope to see you there... :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know that it's not friday (not even close!) but I finished this early and thought why not just upload it? I'm sure you guys don't mind... :) Yeah, I should know by now that I SUCK at keeping updating-schedules... **

**Enjoy! **

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><p>Edward: <em>I fucking HATE the friendzone! <em>

BPOV:

I wish I could say that after that last encounter I was still unaffected by him. That we still just hung out as if nothing had happened. But that would be as far from the truth as could be. As much as it pained me to admit it, I was clearly affected. As much as I wanted to I just couldn't get the sight of him falling apart in my mouth out of my head. The smell of him and the taste of him were lodged on my brain like a bad song. I began to look at him differently. I found myself ogling him when he wasn't looking, even if I cursed myself to hell for becoming yet another fan-girl. What I couldn't bring myself to do was act on it. So I tried to maintain the status quo. Tried to go back to just being friends with him again. But I struggled. A lot. So over the next couple of weeks I was seeing less and less of Edward. Without planning to do so I just didn't go to his flat as much as I used to.

Which clearly drove Edward crazy. I had never had as many calls, texts and e-mails from him before as I had in those few weeks. It seemed he missed me. Being the masochistic ass I obviously was I finally gave into him and agreed to meet up with him again. After all I missed him too…

It was Saturday night and Edward had brought me to this party somewhere at some frat-house. I was drunk, but not too drunk. The music was good and loud and I was having a good time. This guy Tyler was looking fine and I was just horny and drunk enough that I wanted to do something about it so I was doing my best on the dance floor to get him to know that. Maybe being with him would help me get Edward out of my head. I swung around and backed my ass into his crouch and grinded against him. His hands quickly found my waist and ventured a bit higher so his fingers were resting just below my breast. Which were almost aching for his touch by now.

I leaned into him and he whispered in my ear: "Do you want to go somewhere else, somewhere more private?" and then he licked the shell of my ear. He fucking _licked_ it! Which made me think of all the other things he could do with that tongue which made me really wet and even hornier.

Without even realizing it my eyes sought out Edward. He was currently sitting on a couch next to a girl and he was obviously working his magic. He clearly had forgotten about me. Seeing him with her made me feel _something _but before I could ponder about it too much Tyler was sliding his hands up until they were almost cupping my boobs. My head fell back into his shoulder and before I knew it I was following him upstairs to a private room.

As soon as the door shut behind us he pushed me up against it and kissed me hard. I immediately ran out of breath from the force of it but it felt too good to stop. His hands found my boobs again fast and this time his fingers pinched my nipples. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me which seemed to spur him on.

"Fuck Bella. I want to fuck you so badly…" he said and began to lift my shirt. His mouth attacked the skin between my boobs while he pulled the cups down to reveal my nipples that were straining to be touched. He soon moved on with his mouth to my left nipple which he sucked into his mouth. I sighed and arched my back to give him better access to the girls. His one hand was caressing my right boob and his other hand was working the buttons on my jeans to get them off.

I finally regained enough senses to slide my hand down the top of his jeans where I came in contact with a very leaking and straining dick. I was wet and so ready to get on with it and let everything else go.

"Shit, Tyler!" I said as his fingers pushed my panties aside and without warning was buried two fingers in me. It made me shiver being handled to roughly. Because of my petite size guys normally treated we with gloves, afraid I was going to break. But all my encounters over the last year had taught me that I kinda liked it rough. I loved it when the guy took control of me and my body.

I pushed my hand further down his pants and closed it around his dick. But before I even so much as pumped it I felt him tense and still, followed by wetness all over my wrist. He slumped against me, his warm breath washing over my neck with each exhale. He had stopped moving his fingers in me. So this is how I found myself pushed against a door with limp fingers in my pussy and cum all over my hand. Cross… I felt so ashamed for him and I didn't really know how to react to him coming so soon.

Tyler on the other hand just removed his hand from my panties and wiped them off on his jeans. He dislodged himself from me and said "I just knew I shouldn't have had so much to drink…" and he smiled. He fucking smiled at me, like I wasn't all ready to go and wet and horny. He pointed to a door and said "There's the bathroom so you can remove the mess I made if you want to…" So I guess chivalry really is dead, couldn't he at least offer me a quick orgasm after all the build-up? But instead of complaining I just nodded like a good girl and covered my breasts with my clean arm until I was in the bathroom. How could he be so laid-back about this? I quickly washed up and got my clothes back in order. I wanted so badly just to be home right now and not in the middle of this mess. What was I supposed to say to him when I came out of the bathroom? Would it scar him for life if I just ran out of his room as fast as I could so I could avoid talking to him? Deciding against that plan I reluctantly opened the door and was met with an empty room. The bastard had just left me! I didn't know if I should be angry that he left or grateful that I avoided talking with him.

Leaving the room I couldn't help but sulk a bit and I couldn't resist slamming the door behind me. I went downstairs and grabbed a beer from the kitchen and went outside. The weather had become much nicer now so it was bearable to sit outside at night. I sat down on the stairs and looked up at the sky. And drank the beer. And tried not to feel too sexually frustrated…

I had no idea of how long I had been out there when I felt Edward sitting down next to me. He had two beers in his hand and handed me one of them. I tried not to look too much at him but I couldn't help noticing how his lips were swollen and his hair messed up. Not to mention a smudge of lipstick on his neck. I felt a pang in my chest and hated myself for it. What a clusterfuck of a night this had been so far. I really just wanted to go home, but just continued sitting next to Edward drank the beer he handed to me. I was lost in my thoughts so I was kind of startled when he started talking, breaking the comfortable silence between us.

"I know it sounds strange, but nights like this make me long for Forks." I looked at him but he continued to stare at the starry sky. "The nights are so much different there…" He smiled like he just told a joke only he understood.

I shook my head. "I really don't miss Forks. I mean I miss my Dad obviously. But I don't miss _Forks_…" I was too drunk to be eloquent, but he seemed to get my sentiment.

"You've changed so much Bella…" He said and drank from his beer. He still hadn't looked at me.

"For better or worse?" I asked suddenly curious where this was going.

He shrugged. "I really don't know…" He finally looked at me. "In Forks we never talked. So that's better. But I clearly remember you having boyfriends and being a genuine good girl…" He didn't continue. But he didn't have to to get his point across.

"So you think I'm a slut now..?" I asked incredulously. He didn't respond but the look on his face made it pretty clear I had nailed it. "Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" I was slowly standing up. I was filling with anger. How fucking dared he?

"Fuck you Edward! You act like you know me just because we went to high school together but you don't know the half of it. You never even bothered with me back then so don't you sit here acting all high and mighty and pass judgment on me when you clearly don't know me at all!" I was leaning over him, shouting and so angry at him I was sure I was going to slap him.

He looked at me and I could see his eyes hardening. "I know how to make you come, isn't that enough for you Bella?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

I recoiled. Leaned back, away from him, wide-eyed and so surprised he could talk to me like that. The anger dissipated, leaving my system as quickly as it had entered, and gave place to hurt instead. I tried but couldn't hold back the tears spilling over. I palmed my mouth with my hand to keep a sob from escaping. And before he could hurt me anymore I turned around and started to run. I just had to get away from him. I could hear him shouting for me but I didn't care.

I lost my footing a few times and was almost blind from tears but I continued to run. When I finally stopped I discovered I wasn't too far from my dorm room but I couldn't bear to go back there right away. I slumped down on a nearby bench and leaned back against it. My tears were drying up and I felt oddly drained of all emotions. I knew I was developing a crush on Edward but I couldn't see us continuing to be friends after tonight. There was no way in hell I could see myself being friends with a guy who thought of me as a slut. The thought of not having Edward in my life anymore though almost made me cry again. I leaned forward and buried my head in my hands.

As I closed my eyes I was bombarded with images of him; studying with him, being so comfortable around him that I could truly be myself, his face when it lit up in laughter, his smirk, the way his hands were so big on me. His breath against my neck, the feeling of his tongue in my mouth, the way he seemed to know my body better than anyone else, the way he looked when he came.

The way he looked at me when I came.

And then it hit me that this thing between him and me was possibly more than a crush on my part. Maybe I really was just a fan-girl when it came down to it. I might have known him better than any of those other girls but that didn't stop me falling for him. And judging by my reaction to his words I was falling hard. It made me almost embarrassed that I hadn't realized that before.

Shit. Sex really did change everything didn't it? Even without the intercourse…

I lost track of time as I sat on the bench reminiscing but I began to realize I was getting cold. I had left my jacket at the party. So I finally picked myself up to head back to my dorm room to get some sleep.

I didn't really know what I was going to do with my newfound discovery. But I knew for sure that nothing was going to happen tonight as I was cold, tired and emotionally drained.

When I finally reached my dorm I was almost expecting to find Edward there. It would have been like a scene taken out of a movie with him waiting for me there, all sorry and teary eyed. But instead I found my jacket hanging on the door knob with a note. It said: "Let's talk when you're up for it. -E"

As soon as I locked myself in I crumbled the note up and threw it out. What a waste of paper, he didn't even apologize. Asshole.

I went to bed with a throbbing head that promised one hell of a hangover tomorrow.

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><p><strong>Okay, the people who have read my other fics know I'm no stranger to angst, but I promise you this will be resolved quickly... :)<strong>

**I'll get to work on the next chapter soon, but I can't promise you that I will have it finished by friday. But I'll sure try! **

**Please review, I love getting the feedback from you guys...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm so sorry for not posting Friday, but I was visiting a friend this weekend, and didn't have a chance to post. But the good news is that I'm almost done with the next chapter, which will also be the last so that will be up soon as well!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Edward: <em>I really have to stop talking when I'm drunk…<em>

BPOV:

Days passed in a blur. I was burying my head in the sand, ignoring the pain of missing Edward by immerging myself in studying. Finals were coming up so I could pretend that was why I was working so hard. The fact was that I was hardly able to sleep at night. My mind kept replaying him calling me a slut and every time it hurt just a little bit more.

After a couple of weeks of hermit-city, I decided I had had enough. The pain slowly turned into fury. How fucking dared he? He was _the_ biggest slut I had ever met and he was pointing fingers at me? Why shouldn't I be able to fool around without being labeled? What I had done so far was still very vanilla compared to what I knew other girls did at college.

I was so angry with him I even contemplated calling him. Just to yell at him. But I couldn't bring myself to be the first to make contact when I so needed an apology from him. So I waited. I waited for him to contact me. Which he didn't. And let me tell you, that did not help the anger I felt towards him.

I barely ventured out anymore either. I just couldn't stand the idea of bumping into Edward and seeing him flirt with more girls. I made an exception for my best friend Alice though, because she would surely kill me if I ever denied her anything. So when she called and begged me to come to her soiré (yes she actually called it that) I had to say yes. She had met a guy she wanted to introduce me to so she thought an evening of wine and cheese would do the trick. As if wine and cheese were really what anyone not being 40 years old wanted on a night out, but I didn't even bother telling her that.

On the night in question I had actually made an effort. I was in a halter neck top and a nice skirt that Alice had given me for my birthday and I knew she would appreciate me wearing them. My hair was up in a high ponytail and I had even put on a little makeup. As I was getting ready for her soiré I realized I was excited. I had kinda missed going out.

I arrived right on time. I had learned my lesson in the past to not be late when it came to Alice. It seemed I wasn't the only one who had learned that particular lesson as her place was almost full. Without wanting to I did a quick scan to see if Edward was there. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding when I realized he wasn't there. I really wanted to ask Alice whether or not he was supposed to show, but I didn't know how to do it without revealing the fact that we weren't talking which would only lead to a lot of questions from Alice I wasn't sure I wanted to answer. Let alone knew how to answer.

Alice took my coat and while carrying it into her bedroom to put on top of the pile of outerwear in there she said "That asshole Edward has just texted me to say he's not sure he's going to make it. Can you believe it? Would you please inform him that my patience with him is hanging by a loose thread…?" I eagerly nodded and tried to ignore the feeling of disappointment that was fluttering in my stomach.

I let myself be led by Alice into her living room and was introduced to her new boyfriend Jasper. We talked for a bit and it didn't take me long to forget about Edward and just focus on having fun with my friends and the amount of booze that was present.

A couple of hours later I found myself comfortably drunk and talking to some guy named Riley. He was good looking and a few of weeks ago I probably would have messed around with him. It didn't stop me from being immerged in conversation with him though, it seemed we had quite a lot in common so I didn't hear Edward arriving. When I finally noticed him he was standing by the door to the living room obviously drunk with an equally drunk hussy next to him. He had his arm around her waist and was quietly arguing with Alice who seemed really annoyed with him. I tried not to look at him but I hadn't seen him in so long and my eyes seemed to have their own life. I just couldn't look away. And then suddenly, like he could feel my eyes on him, his eyes left Alice and found me. He held my gaze for a while looking relieved, but then he noticed Riley and his eyes immediately changed. He became hard and unapproachable once again. He continued to look at me but started to pull the hussy closer to him. Alice was still talking to him but he ignored her and grabbed the hussy and began to kiss her. She let him, totally oblivious to what was going on around her. As I could see his tongue slipping into her mouth he opened his eyes and looked straight at me. My cheeks lid up and I was suddenly burning from the inside out. I was angry, furious, ashamed and sad at the same time.

I couldn't just sit there and watch him molest this hussy so I pried my eyes away from him, turned my back to him and tried to compose myself enough to continue talking to Riley. I had no idea what he was talking about and I tried to hide that fact by taking an extra large pull of the drink I was nursing. I had no idea what was in it but it tasted strongly of alcohol and that was surely what I needed right now. I really just wanted to leave so I could avoid Edward, avoid seeing him with the hussy. But I couldn't allow him to chase me out of there like that. I had to at least appear not to be that affected by him. So I willed myself not to look at him anymore.

The next hour passed incredibly slowly. I could feel his eyes on me and my body was certainly aware of the fact that he was in the vicinity. As the hour went by it was becoming more and more difficult not to look at him and I tried not to be too conspicuous when my eyes won the battle and sought him out. The hussy was constantly glued to his side and he was constantly looking my way to see if I was noticing them. I was growing frustrated with the entire situation. What the hell was he doing? By the end of that hour I decided that an hour was surely long enough for me to wait before leaving. I didn't want to say goodbye to everybody and thereby gaining a lot of attention so I quietly snuck into Alice's bedroom to get my coat. I was clearly not the last person to arrive and I couldn't help but sigh when I saw the big pile of outerwear that was collected and there was absolutely no sight of my coat. But I certainly didn't want to stay any longer, so I began the tedious work of finding my coat in the pile.

Suddenly I heard the door close behind me but before I could react I found myself being enclosed in a warm body from behind. I froze and tensed when I heard him whisper in my ear: "Bella, do you know how much you affect me..?" _Edward_! "The way you look tonight, I swear you put on this top and this skirt just to tease me." His hands were roaming my body, touching me everywhere and the touch of his hands, his smell and his voice in my ear assaulted my senses to the point where I couldn't think. I could only feel. I found myself relaxing and melting into him.

He continued to whisper in my ear, his voice was rough and husky: "I've wanted to do this all night…" and then he unbound the knot at my neck and pulled down my top, revealing my breasts. He engulfed them in his big hands and pinched my nipples hard. I couldn't help but arch my back and moan. "Shit! You are so responsive." His hands left my breasts and then they were sliding up my thighs bringing my skirt up with them until it was bunched at my waist. His one hand went back to my breast again and his other hand quickly found my pussy which he stroked through my panties. I knew they were soaked already. I had been so aware of him and it was simply not possible for me to not be affected by him when he was in the vicinity.

His hand slipped under my panties and he was teasing me by running a finger through my folds. "Bella. I really want to fuck you. But I'm going to warn you; I'm too drunk and too horny to go slow. This is your chance to say no. If you don't I won't be able to stop…" He then buried two fingers in me and my breath hitched making it impossible for me to say anything.

I could feel him holding back to give me a chance to say no. I knew it wasn't a good idea and that I was probably going to regret it, but with his fingers in me and him surrounding me I just couldn't say no to him. So I nodded and gasped "So don't stop…" He growled and pushed me forward with his body. His hand left my breast and roughly cupped my chin forcing my head to turn so he could kiss me. The kiss was sloppy, wet and full of tongue but that only turned me on even further. I really liked unraveled Edward. I loved the fact that I was affecting him like this.

He kept pushing me until we were standing in front of Alice's vanity table. He put a hand between my shoulder blades and pushed so I was leaning over it. I grabbed onto the table and looked at him in the mirror. "I want to be able to see you." He said and then I could hear the clink of his belt being opened. He was frantic by now, he quickly pushed down his jeans and boxers followed by my panties. He grabbed hold of my hip with one hand and aligned himself with the other. And then with one swift move he buried himself to the hilt in me. My arms gave out and I landed on my elbows but I kept my eyes on him through the mirror. The way he was looking at me made me hot all over. His eyes wandered from mine to my chest and he clearly enjoyed watching them jumping as he pistoned into me hard and fast. He grabbed my shoulder and used it as leverage.

I could feel the coil tightening and I knew I was close. The way he was handling me was such a turn on. The fact that he was obviously chasing his own orgasm without regards to me only increased my pleasure. Edward was always so tentative so even if I knew I should be offended I reveled in the fact that I was able to make him loose control. His hand left my shoulder and grabbed my hair. He pulled so I had to follow and soon my back was to his chest.

"You really like this don't you Bella? You come off as a good girl but deep down you're just a naughty dirty girl aren't you..?" he said and lightly slapped me on my ass which made me moan out loud. This only spurred him on and he increased his speed.

"Shit, shit, shit…." He exclaimed as he slapped my ass again this time a little bit harder. My eyes were trained on him in the mirror. I was taking him in; his eyes were half-hooded and glazed but focused on the place we met through the mirror, the veins in his neck were strained, his lips were parted and he had this look on his face like he was concentrating hard; he looked like a wet dream come true.

He bended his knees slightly and grabbed hold of my ribcage just below my tits. The change in angle made him reach places in me I didn't even know existed and before I knew it I was coming. Hard. I buried my head in my arms to keep from screaming. He came only seconds later after a few more thrusts. He collapsed over me and his weight felt delicious. I could feel his quick breath fanning across the now very sensitive skin on my back. But I didn't really have that much strength left in my legs so as soon as I was able to I started to wiggle, letting him know that he had to move. He promptly took his weight of me but instead of getting off me he started to pebble my shoulder with light kisses before he put his chin on my shoulder and looked at me in the mirror. The look in his eyes made my breath catch. It was filled with wonder and affection and something more I didn't have the guts to decipher.

"Are you all right? Did you come..?" he asked still looking at me that way. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. He smiled and chuckled a bit. I raised an eyebrow silently asking him what was so funny. "I can't believe you came from that!" He said and hid his head in my shoulder.

I froze. Reality came flushing back. I couldn't believe I just had sex with a guy who had been kissing another girl all night and who thought I was a slut. "Yeah, only sluts can come from rough fucking, right!" I exclaimed and suddenly I couldn't stand being touched by him. I pushed off the vanity table and tried to get away from him but his arms just tightened around my ribcage holding me in place.

"I was hoping this would make you forget what I said…" He sounded embarrassed and held on even tighter.

I raised my eyes to his in the mirror and said "So treating me like a slut is supposed to make me forget you think I'm a slut?" I was regretting this badly. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been to give in to him like this and honestly I was only moments away from kicking him hard to get out of his grasp.

As if he could sense it he loosened his hold to turn me around. His one arm still held me in place against him and the other caressed my cheek making sure I was looking at him. "Bella. I'm so sorry I said that. I was jealous and stupid. Please forgive me…" He sounded so forlorn that I almost believed him. I held his eyes and it sure looked like he meant it. But I was having a hard time letting all the anger go. And to be honest I wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet. Even if I had gotten the apology I longed for.

"Please Bella. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. Our first time was supposed to be in a bed with candles and music and plenty of time for me to take care of you. I wanted to make love to you, not fuck you. You deserve so much better than this…" His thumb had found its way to my lips which he was caressing while he spoke. He was breaking down my defenses with his words.

"So you've thought of our fist time together?" I asked him and really needed the conformation his answer could give me.

He chuckled and said: "Are you kidding me? I've thought of nothing else for quite a while now …"

His eyes were soft and pleading and I couldn't help but smile and blush a bit.

"Please come home with me Bella. Let me take care of you…" He said.

His plea went straight to my heart, after all I was in love with him. So I nodded not really able to find my voice. His face lit up and he looked so happy I had to smile. Still smiling he began to fix me up; he bended so he could put my panties back on, he straightened out my skirt and he pushed my hair aside so he could tie the knot on my halter neck. Only when he had finished with me did he fix his own clothes. He quickly found our jackets in the pile and held out his hand to me. "Come with me..?" He asked me again. I smiled at him, nodded and took his hand.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are better than a drunk and horny Edward... (yeah I know, not really but please review anyway, it makes me so happy to get the feedback... :))**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Last chapter! I'll see you on the other side...**

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><p>Edward: <em>JFC. She looks so fucking cute when she's sleeping in my bed. <em>

BPOV:

The walk to his apartment was short and we walked hand in hand like a real couple. I felt giddy and wanted to laugh out loud but tried to restrain myself. This somehow still seemed too good to be true. When we got there we took turns in the bathroom and then we went to bed. It felt comfortable getting ready for bed together, like it was something we were used to. Which couldn't be further from the truth, we had never slept together in the same bed before.

We were lying in bed on our sides looking at each other. We were surrounded by a comfortable silence just looking into each other's eyes. "God I've missed you…" Edward said and took my hand. He laced our fingers together and rested them in the space between us.

"Me too…" I smiled at him. I had so many questions to ask him I didn't even know where to start.

As if sensing my hesitance Edward started to talk. "You know I can actually remember the first time I saw you…" He was looking intently at our hands avoiding my eyes. "It was your first day at Forks High and you had just come out of the admittance office and you looked so lost. I just wanted to pick you up and hold you and take care of you…"

I couldn't help but frown. "You noticed me in High School..?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Are you kidding me? I had the biggest crush on you but before I could muster up the courage to ask you out, you were already going out with Jake and I just couldn't put myself out there like that…"

I couldn't help but smile at his admission. If only I had known at that time that Golden Boy was crushing on me… God, how different things could have been. But to be honest I wasn't sure I would have been able to handle attention from him at that point in time. I was still so insecure about myself that attention from Edward probably would have made me blush to death.

He continued: "So when I saw you here on the first day it almost felt like winning the lottery." I could see his smile in the dim light of his bedroom and I almost felt like I would turn into a puddle of goo from being so happy.

"So why all the girls Edward? You haven't exactly been holding back for me…" I said quietly. Still needing to hear the answers to these questions.

Still holding on to my hand he rolled over so he was lying on his back. He was looking at the ceiling and had stopped smiling. "I know it's stupid. We just became friends so fast and I didn't know how to get out of that and become more to you. So at first I tried to make you jealous by being with other girls. And when I could see that wasn't working I just thought that I was the only one with feelings so it just became a way of getting off. I had given up on ever becoming something else than friends with you and was forcing myself to be content with that. I just wanted you in my life Bella…" He said and finally looked at me.

I was rendered speechless. He was really putting himself out there for me and I could sense my hesitations about him disappearing. I wanted to be able to put myself out there for him as well. Before I could figure out what to tell him he rolled over to his side once again, this time much, much closer to me, and said: "And then you came up with that awesome idea of me getting you off and I swear I thought I had died and went to heaven…" He smirked at me in that ovary-melting way and I could feel my body responding to him.

I scooted closer to him so that our bodies were touching and said: "Well the things you did to me certainly made me feel like I was in heaven…"

He put his hand on my hip and stroked me with his thumb. It was dangerously close to where I wanted it to be and I could feel myself heating up. He leaned forward and nuzzled into my neck. I could feel him hesitating not knowing if it was too soon. So I pushed on his chest a bit and as he rolled over onto his back again I climbed on top of him. I was so ready to be with him again. I was hot all over and his words were really turning me on. I grinded on his hard dick and he whimpered. I took his hands and put them on my breasts guiding him and letting him know that I wanted him too. He sat up and began worshipping my breasts. I leaned back, put my hands on his thighs and arched my back giving him full access. He was taking his time and I was growing impatient. I wanted him inside me, filling me up. So I put my hands in his hair and guided his lips to mine. The kiss started out slowly but soon gained momentum. I was overwhelmed by his tongue in my mouth, the feel of his hands on my body and his dick grinding against my pussy. And with just a slight movement of my hips I was sliding down onto him. I couldn't help but give in to the feeling of him stretching me again and I closed my eyes overwhelmed.

His hands had left my breasts and had found my hips instead and he was guiding my movements. We were going slow just enjoying the feel of each other. His one hand left my hip and he started to caress my cheek. "Please Bella. Open your eyes. Look at me… I need you to look at me." He sounded desperate and I immediately complied. I opened my eyes and almost drowned in the way he was looking at me. Nobody had ever looked at me like that; like I was everything. The connection between us was almost palpable and very intense. It only made me more desperate and soon it just wasn't enough to go slow.

He could sense the change as well. "Shit, I want to but I can't hold back any more…" He exclaimed and rolled us over so he was on top of me. He started to roll his hips and the movement made his lower belly hit my clitoris with each roll. I was seeing stars and getting closer and closer to the edge.

"You feel so good Bella. I can't hold back. Please, I have to…" He didn't even finish his sentence before he got up onto his knees still buried in me. He had a tight grip of my hips and started to pound into me. Seeing him losing control like that was such a turn on.

I grabbed hold on his underarms and sank my nails into them. I was chanting "Yes, yes, yes…" trying to convey to him that I wanted this as well. His hold on me was so tight I was sure there was going to be bruises tomorrow but I couldn't give a fuck. I was so close to the edge and I could feel myself letting go. Edward was swearing like a sailor and obviously hanging on by a threat. Our eyes were still locked and even through the roughness I could feel him worshipping me. This pushed me over the edge and I came screaming his name without further warning. I could feel myself clenching around him and it only lengthened my orgasm.

He was still pounding into me trying to prolong my orgasm before letting go himself. I could feel his movements becoming erratic and with the last strength I had in me I put my legs around his waist keeping him close to me. This seemed to do the trick as he shuddered and shouted my name. His grip on my hips became indefinitely tighter and I couldn't help but moan breathlessly from the sight of him. He was glorious. Every muscle in his body was wound tight and he was struggling to keep his eyes on me. It seemed to take a while but he finally collapsed on me.

I put my arms around him holding him as tight to me as I could manage. I enjoyed his weight on top of me, the feeling of his withering penis inside of me. I enjoyed the soreness in my pussy and in my body. It was perfect. And I told him just that. "This moment is perfect…" I whispered into his ear breathlessly. I could feel him smiling against my cheek and he lifted himself up upon his elbow to give me a searing kiss.

He leaned away just enough to look me in the eyes and said "Yes. It really is…" and his smile was so overwhelming and contagious that I just knew this was right. We were so right together. I felt asleep in his arms, unworried and happy.

THE END

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><p><strong>AN: Soooooooo... HEA after all. Well, no surprises there, I'm really just that kind of girl. :)**

**So I know I've been a massive fail at replying to reviews lately, but I've been really sick with the flu this last week and this is the first day that my fever is down so I'll get to them today, I promise... :)**

**I just have to say that it has been funny how many of you think Bella is a complete pushover. Almost as many as you who just wants her to forget everything Edward has done and get together with him. It is such a hoot reading your comments I swear! :)**

**I want to thank all the readers and the reviewers. You make my day! :)**


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